It died a natural death.

I recently let go of something (does it matter if it is a person, place or thing?), and I was - in Kate fashion - getting ready to explain the depths of what had happened, when over coffee on a very bright, and sunny Tuesday my girlfriend Heather shrugs, “It died a natural death.”

My mouth gapes. “That is exactly what happened,” I realize.

“Yeah, I know I just figured that one out myself. It just died a natural death. It’s over.”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. A natural death. Saying ‘natural’ is the most important part,” she shifts her shoulders to demonstrate.

“It is,” I squeal, confirming my perplexed awe at the simple truth.  “It happens all the time in Nature.”

“Yeah, it happens all the time everywhere. It returns. And something new is born - eventually.”

“Yeah.” I am pretty sure my face is still squinting at the simplicity - because it is true. I was hunting for a story - I now realize - and had been practicing the arc line when I was telling it to others in order to justify it to myself,  but the truth - the truth is : it died a natural death. 

It was time to let go.
End of story.

Now is a potent time to let go what has been begging for release. Too strong? But, it’s true, right? I mean if no one is watching you’d agree deep down you know it is time to let it go.

Sometimes this is best to do alone.

And sometimes a container serves the support and boundaries needed.

On July 20, 2020 Sit In Your Center, a retreat for women to reclaim and remember who they are, opens for a four week journey. The goal and support of this class is to feel good in your own skin and your own life again. We do this through weekly live calls, a guided weekly practice to reengage us with the feminine aperture (How we work. How our neurology computes and how to make the best of what we are - because why has no one taught us that?) and how empowerment can ignite through embodying who you are now. Yep. It is a potent step. And part of that reclamation comes from making space - and, like Elsa sings, to “Let it Go” so what is wanting to be born can come through whether through major change, or most significantly in the subtle ways you feel more at peace with yourself.

Want to learn more? Click here to read more about our July 2020 community or get on the waitlist for the Sit In Your Center self-led course running again in August.

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In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver
​
Look, the trees
are turning 
their own bodies 
into pillars

of light, 
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
nameless now.
Every year
everything 
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
lends back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation, 
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it; 
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

originally published in May 2017

Why gratitude journaling helps you smile more

Keeping a gratitude journal might sound trite; it’s not. Our preferences and habits create a filter in our mind’s eye, to find what we are seeking. Alex Korb, Ph.D. explained: “…your brain loves to fall for the confirmation bias, that is it looks for things that prove what it already believes to be true.”

I would add, it looks for its preferences. For example, I was walking with my two year old nephew the other day. “Plane, plane!” He says to me. Looking up in the sky, I see nothing but a tree-scape. Slowly my mind hears the tell-tale sign of a plane just before it peeks past the limits of the tree-line. 

Ryan, my nephew, is fascinated by planes, trains and trucks. His awareness is fine-tuned to them, so he found them. He found what he wanted to see.

Some of us are complainers. Some of us aren’t. Some of us are in process of re-training our mind’s habits. You cannot control the chaos of life; you may only control your reaction. Does seeing a beautiful flower change horrible news? I don’t know. I know for a moment I get to be soaked in the beauty of nature, where I otherwise would not. So for me, it works. Moment to moment.

But what power can a gratitude journal have? Well, I recently watched the documentary Happy where the neurologists found that people who keep a gratitude journal are happier people because…wait for it…they have trained their minds to find things to be grateful for.

I keep a gratitude journal - bullet-point style and I aim for tiny, tangible things, like: perfect latte art, hug from partner, no traffic to work, feather that made me think of a loved one, and a great client session. I aim for 5 things a day.

Some days I struggle for five — and here is where the brain-functioning gets fascinating — when I am thinking of my five things, my brain is literally calling out an “all-hands-on-deck” moment to my memories for the day:
​
“Does anybody have anything we can give Kate to write down for number five?”

The mind continues to skry for information - it wants to please the request. The more you place the request for moments of gratitude, you literally train the mind to look for things to be grateful for, even if only under the guise of writing in your journal at the end of the day ( Personal tip: I enjoy re-visiting yesterday’s grace over my morning cup of coffee as a peaceful way to write my mind into place). The more you look for things to be grateful for, the more you find. The more you find reasons to be grateful, the more grateful you feel. Your mind is a puppy-pleasing entity that wants to complete tasks that will merit a reward.  

What have you trained your mind to retrieve?
Consider taking on a gratitude practice and see what you find. 

Leave a comment and share your joy with us.
​

Why Shifting Your Perspective is Worth Your Time

"How we spend our days is how we spend our lives." - Annie Dillard

Making a decision to change your perspective is greatly emboldened by the treasured art of committed practice. Every day, cultivate your ability to see more than before, and allow it - whatever it may be - before judging or quantifying what you perceive.  You might just be delighted.

Here are some resources on how and why this  is something to consider:

1. How To Make Mindfulness A Working Advantage (And Not Just Cuddly Nonsense)
https://www.fastcompany.com/40471927/how-to-turn-mindfulness-into-a-working-advantage-and-not-just-cuddly-nonsense

2. Being Busy Is Killing Our Ability to Think Creatively
http://bigthink.com/21st-century-spirituality/creativity-and-distraction

3. Can 10 Minutes of Meditation Make You More Creative?
https://hbr.org/2017/08/can-10-minutes-of-meditation-make-you-more-creative


​“Meditation will not carry you to another world, but it will reveal the most profound and awesome dimensions of the world in which you already live. Calmly contemplating these dimensions and bringing them into the service of compassion and kindness is the right way to make rapid gains in meditation as well as in life.”
​           ~Zen Master Hsing Yun

If you would like to learn more about how to bring simple ways to expand your mindset or your business horizons, reach out here. Taking the time to reframe you + your team’s perspective reminds everyone that possibilities are endless if we can be open and mindfulness is nothing new, yet still cutting edge.

Let’s chat soon,

Kate